Have the courage to be yourself.

Identity therapy will help affirm who you are and give you the strength to embrace it peacefully. It can also help you heal from past and ongoing identity-based trauma.

The key to having a joyful life is to “Be who you is.”™

This is not a typo.

These wise words were given to our founder Desyree Dixon by her Grandmother Blanche White (1909 - 2000). 

One day Desyree was talking to her grandmother about her future, and she asked if her grandmother knew the key to having a joyful life. Without missing a beat, Desyree’s grandmother said matter-of-factly that the secret to having a joyful life is to “Be who you is.”™

At the time she didn't fully understand the significance of those words, but now she realizes that her grandmother was telling her to be her authentic self, in every moment possible. Authenticity is the sense that your choices and the way you live your life are aligned with your core identity. 

Feeling a disconnect between who you are and who you want to be can be a source of great inner conflict and a major catalyst for change. It is a reason why many people come to therapy. 

Self-determination, or acting in accordance with one's core self, is ranked by some psychological experts as one of three basic psychological needs, along with competence and relatedness.

At Bolton Therapy we give you safe place for you to be your authentic self, or, as Desyree’s Grandmother used to say, to “Be who you is.”™

 

What is Identity and why is it important?

The concept of identity relates to our sense of self. It is essentially the answer to the question, "Who are you?" Few of us choose our identity. It is heavily influenced not only by our experiences but also by our relationships, cultural norms and societal values. Identity is important because it can literally impact every major aspect of our lives - our choices both big and small, relationships, careers, spirituality, sense of purpose in life and overall happiness.

What is Core Identity?

Because so much of our identity, our sense of self, is the result of external influences that most of us don't choose, there can often be a disconnect between the questions "Who are you?" and "Who are you, really?" 

Similarly, there can often be a disconnect between the questions "Who am I?" and "Who do you want to be?" When people ask, "Who am I, really?" they are trying to understand their sense of self absent the layers of influences that they didn't choose. The identity that remains after these layers are figuratively peeled away is the "core" identity.

Certain social characteristics, such as race, gender, sexual orientation, and disability, for example, can significantly impact core identity. This is because societies often define what we should and shouldn't do based on these characteristics. Societal stereotypes influence beliefs about the traits and behavior of people with these characteristics. Societal narratives have a profound impact on our sense of self. Accordingly, we call these characteristics "Core Identity Factors."™

 

What is Identity-Based Trauma?

Identity-Based Trauma or IBT refers to the psychological, emotional, and physical responses to a distressing event or activity where that event or act attacks, marginalizes or implicates one or more social identity factors of the traumatized person. All of us have some aspects of our Core Identity that are marginalized by society. This marginalization can be traumatic and have long-lasting effects on our sense of self and mental well-being.


Go here to learn more about identity-based trauma and how we can help.

Gain confidence with Identity Therapy.

At Bolton Therapy & Wellness we have a deep understanding of identity and its importance to both daily functioning and overall quality of life. Our expertise is based on thousands of clinical hours with people from many diverse backgrounds.

Most people describe their issues in terms of popular clinical terms like anxiety and depression. In many cases, a client’s depression and anxiety are symptoms of identity issues. Ironically, identity is easily overlooked or entirely unseen not because of its insignificance, but rather due to its centrality to so much of who we are, what we do and how we feel.

For this reason, identity therapy often begins with helping a client understand identity and the profound impact it has on their lives. This helps the client see their own identity. Why is this so important? Because we can’t heal what we can’t see. Once you start to see your identity, you can discover and manifest your authentic self in as many spaces as possible.

You may believe therapy can help you but you still have questions about identity therapy.

  • Yes, our sense of self can change over the course of our lives as we mature and evolve. In many cases, we are not fully aware of these changes or the reasons for them. Identity Therapy can help you be more intentional about understanding these influences and being your authentic self, in whatever way you want to define yourself.

  • You can improve your sense of self by doing focused therapeutic exercises that help you see the many complex aspects of your identity. This work includes developing an understanding of how parts of your identity evolved to shape the person you are today. Once you begin to make these connections, you can discover what authenticity means to you and move through the world with greater confidence and joy.

  • Many clients seek identity therapy without knowing that is what they are seeking. They may come to therapy because they are experiencing depression and anxiety, or they feel unfulfilled in their career or relationships. But a deeper dive reveals other feelings? They may say things like, “I don’t know who I am” or “I feel like I’m wearing a mask.” They express a desire to be more authentic in how they move through the world - at work or in relationships. They may feel that their life decisions are more driven by what’s important to others than to them. If you can relate to these kinds of feelings, then identity therapy may help you figure out who you are and who you want to be. Identity therapy may help you live a more authentic and joyful life.

    If you’ve had traumatic past or ongoing experiences related to aspects of your identity, you may be struggling with identity-based trauma. Like other kinds of trauma, identity-based trauma can impact both mental and physical health. Identity therapy can help you heal from or manage this trauma, while also helping you discover your authentic self.

    Go here to learn more about identity-based trauma and how we can help.

 

Get help with your identity issues or identity-based trauma.

Contact us today to schedule a free 15-minute phone call for us to discuss how we can help you.